Hell Week? Hell, Yeah
I’m just going to start this piece by saying that calling last week “Hell Week” is not hyperbole. Well, in my case, it isn’t. Your mileage, of course, may vary. And, to be fair, at least a part of what made things hellish last week was personal, not political. I had a ton of shit going on and, as it always seems to happen, a lot of that shit wasn’t good. I did the granddad thing for the early part of the week and came to realize there’s a fucking reason why we have kids when we’re young. Don’t get me wrong, I love my grandkids, but holy shitballs, they wear me out. And then, towards the end of the week, both my vehicles decided to get wonky, on the same goddamn day. And, within hours of each other. I just worked out what was going on with one yesterday. So, of course, this was the week that all hell broke loose politically. From the beginnings of a major schism in MAGALand to the floods out west displaying the damage done to government apparatus by the regime to the White House releasing another ridiculous meme making the short-fingered vulgarian look super cool, things got a little wild. So, without further ado, let’s get into it.
After years of talking up alleged child sex-trafficker Jeffrey Epstein’s client list—including Attorney General Pam Bondi telling reporters it was on her desk for review—the regime said that list didn’t exist and that Epstein did, in fact, commit suicide. This is not sitting well with the MAGA faithful, and that includes FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino, who himself got a fuck ton of mileage out of the Epstein thing during his podcasting career. Sources claim that Bongino and Bondi got into it during a White House meeting, and Bongino left in a huff. Meanwhile, I’m sitting over here with my popcorn and enjoying the show.
https://www.axios.com/2025/07/11/epstein-files-dan-bongino-pam-bondi-trumpIn a super fucking surprising development, Democrats are actually doing something smart with this. Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA) plans to force a roll-call vote “demanding the full, unredacted release of all documents related to disgraced financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.” I gotta be honest, I did not see that coming.
https://www.newsweek.com/democrat-ro-khanna-demands-vote-release-full-jeffrey-epstein-files-2098309?fbclid=IwY2xjawLg7ppleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHijfaTdhyYHNuirrbe--xpOG6ywCVR_nOVJencZyNMwnYobT2zKSeQpMjTbs_aem_3Aw6csPmyJKAY5G8JMoHWgAnd, as if that wasn’t enough, AOC threw some gasoline on that dumpster fire.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/aoc-trump-bondi-bongino-epstein-b2787907.html?fbclid=IwY2xjawLhA_xleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHmVKGY8WwMmYZAxx-lGaZa64mVie2YfQHzwZyVFPTmmGu45uggcGrHZlNELY_aem_J_G2IgCRANr8CaZnVAAA9QThe Department of Homeland Security (aka the U.S. version of the Reich Security Main Office) is pushing local law enforcement agencies to view protest activities like riding a bike or livestreaming interactions with police as “violent tactics”. And, all I can think is, aren’t they already doing that?
https://www.wired.com/story/dhs-tells-police-that-common-protest-activities-are-violent-tactics/Last week, Lord Dampnut and his
captivewife traveled to Texas to tour the areas hit by floods. At a press conference, a reporter asked him what he would say to families who complained that warnings hadn’t been issued when they should have been, and lives had been lost as a result. His response? "Only a bad person would ask a question like that. To be honest with you, I don't know who you are, but only a very evil person would ask a question like that.” So, Donnie definitely adheres to the “kill the messenger” school of thought. Big surprise, huh?
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/donald-trump-texas-flood-deaths-donald-trump-lashes-out-at-reporter-over-question-on-texas-flood-easy-to-ask-8863919The New York Times found out that almost 2/3 of calls to FEMA’s disaster assistance hotline. The reason? On July 5th, the day after the floods, the contracts with the companies that cover those lines expired because Noem, who instituted a rule that any expenditures over $100,000 had to be cleared by her, dropped the ball. The contracts weren’t renewed until July 10th, 5 fucking days after the disaster. Noem, however, went on “Meet the Press with Kristen Welker” and insisted that the Times lied and everything was fine. Seriously? What fucking world does this woman live in? More importantly, what world does she think we live in?
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2025/07/13/kristi-noem-fema-calls-not-answered-meet-the-press/85062797007/While we’re on the subject of Noem’s incompetence, her stupid fucking $100k rule also delayed FEMA search and rescue teams getting into action. Normally, when a disaster happens, FEMA offices in the affected area prepare and try to anticipate the needs of local agencies and be ready to go when they’re called on. However, as Gabe Cohen and Michael Williams of CNN write, that low threshold (FEMA operations can run into billions of dollars) meant that “as central Texas towns were submerged in rising waters, FEMA officials realized they couldn’t pre-position Urban Search and Rescue crews from a network of teams stationed regionally across the country.” It took ICE Barbie 72 hours to authorize the teams’ deployment. What the actual fuck?
https://www.cnn.com/2025/07/09/politics/fema-texas-flood-noemIn the wake of the flooding out west, it seems people are attacking weather radar facilities because *checks notes* they're "weather weapons" and were used to cause the floods in Texas. What. The. Actual. Fuck. We are living the dumbest timeline.
https://www.wired.com/story/texas-floods-conspiracy-theories-geoengineering-weather-weapon/By now, it’s very obvious that the malevolent Mr. Magoo who currently inhabits 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue doesn’t know jack shit about the foundations of our country. Remember his answer to what the Declaration of Independence is? But, even knowing just how stupid he is, the man still finds ways to make me shake my head. This time, it was his statement that he’s thinking about revoking Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship. Here’s the thing about that: the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution says that if you’re born here, you’re a citizen and you can’t lose that involuntarily. Let me state for the record that I’m not much of a Rosie O’Donnell fan, but I’d take her loud, annoying ass over President Dipshit any day.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/trump-rosie-odonnell-u-s-citizenship-revoke-threat/Donnie’s border czar and boiled potato cosplaying as a human Tom Homan told Fox News that ICE and CBP agents don’t need probable cause to detain and question people, they can do so “based on the location, the occupation, their physical appearance, their actions.” Those italics are mine because I want to make sure you catch the bit where he says the quiet part out loud. The hoods are off, y’all. That said, it is helpful when racist assholes tell you who they are in no uncertain terms.
https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/white-house-border-czar-suggests-ice-can-detain-people-based-physical-rcna218285?fbclid=IwY2xjawLhBK9leHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFYTEJhVzdBVTNvbE5BekhUAR5qAtdO_n7tqYI8X4mFLTx33sAA8lSnSU6zR40F9NLuvGN4uFAkkpPXiDT55w_aem_bY3whr7JAO46z8Q4gsSZJAAs the country is burning down around us, this shit is what the regime is wasting its time with.
Apparently feeling that it was “too woke”, xAI CEO and man who makes Mark Zuckerberg look suave, Elon Musk made some “improvements” to Grok, his Chat-GPT-if-you-got-it-from-Temu AI chatbot, saying, "You should notice a difference when you ask Grok questions." And for once, he wasn't wrong. Within a few days, it was referring to itself as “MechaHitler”. Grok later claimed that the name was “pure satire”. But Grok’s owner is also the guy who threw a few Nazi salutes back in January, so excuse me if I’m skeptical.
https://www.npr.org/2025/07/09/nx-s1-5462609/grok-elon-musk-antisemitic-racist-content?fbclid=IwY2xjawLhLMlleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHic6_NJMXd_wRzaKk_icXxi9KloEuttD1S0V2vCQgpgtjwhJ2k3IfzWl3Vmp_aem_ydCXeRtbbWxhGsdGLq18_QFlorida, being the sunny dystopian hellscape that it is, has a policy of full cooperation with ICE/CBP. That was in evidence when they held a man at a weigh station and turned him over to Border Patrol officers. In describing what happened, the man’s attorney said, “I was advised that the client looked Hispanic, had a Hispanic name, and now they (Florida Highway Patrol) are collaborating with Immigration and Customs Enforcement and CBP, and their orders are to call CBP any time they encounter anyone they suspect is an immigrant.” When she asked if they would done the same with her, the trooper said that “it depends if you look Hispanic.” Yet another case of saying the quiet part out loud.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/stuartanderson/2025/07/09/attorneys-say-they-cant-see-immigration-clients-at-alligator-alcatraz/?fbclid=IwY2xjawLhLwNleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETFYTEJhVzdBVTNvbE5BekhUAR6on9NxLxw3OKyMEHKlbz4UBdbUML-Ti95kZL8DHBhYQQsxoJTAY3xoSE96VQ_aem_GlYAPr1Rfa1Fho6qpbOk6wConservatives have their panties in a wad because James Gunn, director of the latest installment of DC’s Superman franchise, described Supes as “an immigrant that came from other places and populated the country.” Wait a minute, they’re upset that a story about a guy who is a literal illegal alien (there was a scene in the Lois and Clark TV series where ICE forerunner Immigration and Naturalization asked to see his green card) was called a story about a literal illegal alien? I can’t even with these assholes.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2025/07/11/superman-2025-woke-immigrants-james-gunn/84535442007/It seems that a law enforcement agency was conducting surveillance at an anti-ICE protest using a device called a Stingray to collect cell phone data. There is no information on whether a warrant was obtained or what agency was behind the operation. This is some real police state vibes, if you ask me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5XzspKfmrwAgriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins thinks there are enough people sponging off of Medicaid to make up for all the farm workers ICE is deporting. At a press conference last week, she said, “There will be no amnesty. The mass deportations continue, but in a strategic way. And we move the workforce towards automation and 100 percent American participation, which, again, with 34 million … able-bodied adults on Medicaid, we should be able to do that fairly quickly.” Hey, maybe they could build some camps near the farms for all these laborers to live on, with uniforms, and ID numbers, and… um, on second thought, maybe not.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/trump-agriculture-chief-pushes-delusional-160029614.htmlLet’s end on a less dystopian note and go with something that’s just stupid. It seems the latest weird toy craze is something called a Labubu doll, and of course, some idiots are saying they’re demonic. Because, sure, why the fuck not? There’s at least one
religious grifterChristian influencer claiming there’s witchcraft involved. And, no, I am not linking to that stupid shit and giving him more traffic. This really is the dumbest goddamn timeline.
https://www.ndtv.com/feature/heres-why-labubu-dolls-are-being-linked-to-mesopotamian-demon-pazuzu-8833538?fbclid=IwY2xjawLhNJ5leHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHrh_Q8HDnvJitRvre4plzqJ2PLvBqyPfRhya04UHI6gEvPyB_p4ehkUQpkr3_aem_5ziBL73pLt6Tr_DBqqCBMg
And, there you have it. Was it Hell Week? On one hand, I think that’s a subjective question. On the other, a look at all the shit that happened last week means that even the small shit can loom larger. If there’s a bright side to all this, it’s that we may be looking at the beginning of the end for the unhinged Oompa Loompa and his MAGA bullshit. At least, I fucking hope it is.